Dean jumped and dropped the fork that he had in his hand, clattering to his plate.

"Damn it, Cas." He growled picking up the fork again. "It's Mississippi Mud Pie."

"You should know by now that- if I ask you where you are- chances are, when you tell me, I'll show up there." Sorry he didn't feel sorry. Though, Dean's surprised face was always priceless.

"You have the same diet as a Trickster."

"As in your brother, the pain in the ass, Trickster? I do not have anything in common with him." Okay maybe the same sick sense of humor and love of practical jokes, especially involving Sam but Dean was not going to admit to that.

And they both enjoyed junk food (particularly certain sweets) and sleeping with women, but Cas decided that Dean's reaction meant that he'd rather not be compared with Gabriel.

He shrugged. "Gabriel wasn't so bad sometimes."

"Sometimes." Dean allowed. The angel had helped them when they needed it. "He's got good taste in porn."

Castiel had a feeling that Dean was going to say something like that.

"I wouldn't know. Oh." Speaking of porn and sex. "A whore offered her services to me. I... turned her down."

[[I'm not sure if it is this damn storm or just the fact that my wifi sucks but I keep getting put offline. This is my fourth time trying to tag. :( ]]

"What the hell did you turn her down for?" Dean rolled his eyes. "You've been spending too much time with Sam."


[ooc: Boo! I hate when that happens. No worries. <3]

"Actually, I haven't seen Sam since before we wound up in Purgatory." That was Cas, taking things all too literally.

He frowned slightly and shrugged. "I don't know why I turned her down. I just did." Okay, so he didn't want to tell Dean that sex sort of scared him. He'd die plenty of times, but sex? Nope.

"It's easier with a hooker." Dean said around a bite of pie. "There's no expectations or emotions involved." Not that there were that for some of Dean's one night stands but there was always a chance.

"And what if, say, emotions become involved on my end. By accident? I'm not saying I'd fall in love with her, I just can't really control my own emotions." Of course, he wasn't sure if Dean even realized this and now he didn't know why he had said anything, because this might open up a whole new bundle of conversations.

Dean set his fork down and wiped his mouth with his napkin, watching Castiel. "The only emotions that you're likely to feel is gratitude, lust and happy. And what the hell do you men you can't control your emotions?"

"It's not that serious of a problem, just that when I feel an emotion that I've never had before it sort of just comes out of nowhere? And it is hard to deal with sometimes. That's all." Yeah, Cas definitely wished he hadn't said anything.

He blinked. "Is that where drinking alcohol comes in?"

"Dude you do not want to drink too much alcohol or your first experience will not be as memorable or as fun." Dean smirked a little, glad that the not controlling emotions wasn't tied to the Leviathan crap.

"You've only seen me really drunk once, Dean." He gave him a look. As if he'd do that again.

[[This Cas doesn't know about 'alternate'future!cas when it comes to the drugs and alcohol and orgies hahaha.]]

Dean snickered, "I wouldn't have to see you drunk at all to know what alcohol does to the male anatomy." A beat, "or doesn't do."

Cas let out a soft sigh and gave his friend an unamused look.

Perhaps he should just not do it and stop thinking about it completely, because then things would go back to seeming less complicated. He knew that kind of logic didn't actually work, but it was worth a try?

"All I'm saying, is that you'll want to just use alcohol to take the nerves off but not too much that you can't enjoy it." Dean smiled then, a genuine one without laughter, "and you will enjoy it. Trust me. If you're going to learn sex for anyone go to the experts and hookers are definitely that."

"What does it feel like?" Maybe that was too personal (though they were way past that anyway, right?), he didn't know, but Castiel was curious.

"Think of the best feeling that you ever had and then double it. That's what it feels like." Dean didn't think anything about having this conversation. It was a lot better than others that they'd had or could have had now.

"Right. I'll keep that in mind." Cas nodded.

"Are you going to finish your pie?" He kind of wanted to try a bite of it. "Oh, and I was wondering... the witches and vampires here. They're harmless?"

Everyone else had said this place was pretty peaceful, but Dean's word was sort of the end all in Castiel's opinion.

Dean took another bite and then pushed the remaining pie which was only a couple of bites over to Castiel. It showed how much Dean liked him. He rarely shared pie with anyone, Sam included.

"None of them are harmless even though they say they are. None of them are like Benny." Though if he were honest (and Dean wasn't about vampires) he'd admit that he hadn't got to know any of them to find out.

Of course Cas understood the passing of his plate over as a sign of true friendship. He smiled and picked up the fork, taking a bite.

"Benny wasn't harmless either. He knew how to fight. But from what you can tell, they're not going after the locals?"

"Not harmless but at least he was trying to not feed. The ones here have a place called Fangtasia where humans that like to be fed on get their vampire kink on." Dean made a face at that. "The village won't let them attack, but I keep waiting for one of them to find a way around that. Like their bar, 'willing' people." He made little air quotes around willing.

"That's disturbing." Cas frowned a bit at that news. He knew it couldn't have been all peaceful. Now he knew he'd have to keep an eye on that.

“Hey, does your ability to fry demons work on vampires?” Because Dean would love to see them light up like Christmas trees.